a violation of Penal Code section 594, subdivision (a), a FELONY, in that on or about January 2007 to October 2010, in the County of Riverside, State of California, they did willfully, unlawfully, and maliciously damage and destroy property that was not his/her own.
That's right! The destruction in our house has to risen to criminal proportions. Molly and I are facing some serious allegations so my lawyer advised me to write a formal apology, in hopes of a civil compromise in lieu of criminal sanctions.
We Buggs have destroyed the following property, not belonging to us:
Flip flops--both mom and dads--multiple pairs- Eye Glasses--3 pairs
- Grandpa Hal's dress shoes
- Boppy covers--3 of them
- Baby toys--too many to count
- Ottoman
- Carpet
- Couch
- Mail--too much to count
- Photographs
- Magazines
- Grass in the backyard exposing the sprinklers
- Potted plants
- Rugs
- Pillows
- Burp cloths
- bibs
- electrical cords
Although I submit that Molly is behind most of this destruction (see photographic evidence attached hereto), I admit that I am an occassional accomplice, or at least, an accessory after the fact. Molly and I agree to pay our fair share of kisses and cuddles in exchange for leniency.
Respectfully submitted, Bugsy Charlemagne Roach
The recent destruction of a pillow
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